Your Intrepid Reporter was arrested today (so, what else is new?) at the Starbucks on Pioneer Courthouse Square.
The arresting officer a blue beach ball named Palmiter, was not inclined to arrest: he put me under detention and agreed that my assertion, that I was supposed to be able to enter an establishment open to the public, made sense. That is, an exclusion, as practiced by Fred Meyer and New Seasons [The Friendliest Store in Town!], for unspecified reasons of interminable duration, is unConstitutional.
The frightened little female chicken, the delegated official of Starbucks, said that her boss insisted, and Officer Palmiter, as I observed to his disgust, was obliged to jump to the beck and call of Capital.
Oh, by the way, this particular beach ball was the one who arrested me at the behest of the Mayor of our happy Potemkin Village, and he readily confirmed the fact that he was speaking on the telephone to the Mayor when arresting me for sitting non-disruptively in the public waiting room area of the Mayor’s Office in this here capital city of this particular province of the Home of the Free and the Brave. That was on the third call by the Mayor’s office, requesting my arrest: Beach Ball Palmiter confirmed (quite willingly and readily, I might add) that he was speaking directly with the Mayor when arresting me (you remember, don’t you? — all charges dismissed, on all three arrests, the evening before the first judicial hearing on the merits of the case) on I believe December 5th or 6th or so.
What’s that? We’re not the capital of the province, you say?
Silly me. I must be senile, don’t you think? Time to lock me up, wouldn’t you say? Imagine! Saying Portland is a Provincial capital! As if this were Canada! Doesn’t this jerk know that they’re states here? Let’s just get him out of here, as soon as we can.
Anyway, in the course of the arrest, the frightened chickens employed as token female career women by The Machine trotted out another little girl, also blonde, also one-half to one-third my age, and she, this second señorita, read a statement in a quavering voice that, as the duly authorized representative of the Private Corporation [All Rise! Genuflect upon my signal! All together!] owning Pioneer Courthouse Square, the Living Room of Portland, a bastion of the so-called Right of Free Speech guaranteed by a piece of paper none of the politicians at a national level are willing to enforce
— did you hear the one about the clause that the country cannot go to war unless it is declared by Congress? You know, the clause in the Constitution that Congress and Supreme Court and (most of all!) both Republican and Democratic Presidents have ignored for the last half-century. . .
which enforcement of course only happens when You (oh, excuse me , I’m supposed to say “We” : all politicians do it) the People insist on it, and You haven’t. Have you?
Don’t worry, chers lecteurs, the last question is rhetorical: that is to say, you needn’t bother to answer it.
Where was I? confused by my own clauses, I’ll wager.
Oh, now I remember.
Yes. I am excluded from Pioneer Courthouse Square (again for an indefinite period, again for reasons left unspecified) and will be arrested for trespassing, including upon the sidewalk surrounding the Square.
Members of the Cascadia Chapter of the Pacific Green Party of Oregon: your secretary is going to be arrested for trespassing when he attempts to address the Friday afternoon anti-war rally in Pioneer Courthouse Square.
Update 14 May 2015 [the calendar on the wall claims today is Ascension Day] : all charges stemming from the arrest at Starbucks Pioneer Courthouse square have been dismissed. Your Intrepid Reporter was informed of this fact while on the sidewalk in front of the courthouse, from which he had been evicted, some five minutes before, by three or four (it is hard to count when you’re being carried upside down) uniformed deputy sheriffs of Multnomah County. His court-appointed public defender never showed.
Update 16 May 2015 : Security Guards in the pay of the Corporation Hired to Administer Pioneer Courthouse Square bracketed me as I spoke yesterday, but (probably because all charges of trespassing against Starbucks at PCS had already been dismissed the day before) did not call for me to be arrested. On the contrary, they agreed that what I said “made sense”.
Kevin Fitts, who said he would attend, did not. Dan Handelman, the main organizer of Portland Copwatch, was there, to announce, in a hard-to-hear mumble, that some author is coming to town. Mr Handyman believes that an announcement that some author is coming to town is a progressive action, which will lead to police reform. I told him and I am now putting it in writing, that 30 years of Dan Handyman’s [the machine substitutes that misspelling of Mr Handelman’s name every time, in place of my correct spelling] efforts have amply documented that that will have absolutely no effect whatsoever on the police brutality and corporate oppression under which we now suffer. Continuing along those lines is doing the same thing, over and over, hoping that This Time It’s Different.
Update 16 May 2015 9 p.m. : I seem to have come rather closer than I knew to being arrested at the Friday Afternoon Anti-War rally at Pioneer Courthouse Square. I provide for mes lecteurs devouées the verbatim email received just moments ago here at Cascadia Chapter headquarters,
from Dave Westerlund, co-warrior against imperialist war:
Mike: Perhaps you missed my conversation with 2 female police in a squad car. You were talking to Herschel [Soles, the chief driving personality of the Portland Peaceful Response Coalition, for many years now a coalition which the Cascadia Chapter is proud to call itself a part of] at the time.
They [the two female police officers, recall] had pulled up, putting on rubber gloves and asked who the man was yelling at the people.
The driver was quite cute so I said he only talks loud when he gets excited, but that you were single, a professor at PSU and would love to meet her. She said she had a loud voice too, smiled and drove off up Broadway. Wish she had come out of the car and you could give her kiss. She was a cutie. davew
In my opinion, this shows that preparations were indeed in progress for my arrest. It shows as well that timely insertion of a few facts not known to the Blue Beach Balls saved my butt.