February 16, 1987
So just how well are you taking care of yourself? When you have the money, you are smoking up a storm of marijuana, to moderate your emotional state. When you are broke, you are borrowing money from anyone that will give it to you. Little do these people realize that there is next to no probability that they will ever get paid back.
You spend your time writing “brilliant” essays, which appear to be based on your self pity and your sexual urges. As you did in high school, you have started your own newspaper, which is operated by writing letters, xeroxing them, and sending them to a list of “recipients” which are supposed to be supportive and encouraging.
Based on what I am reading in your “newspaper”, you are not doing a very good job of taking care of yourself. Further, your writing and academic advancement is being held up by incompetent people that know nothing. You chafe at their failure to see how brilliant you are. When you are not telling us who is holding you back, you tell us about getting beaten up by the Police, being told off by various members of your family, being brought before judges on misdemeanor charges, mouthing off to the Court at any chance, and being beaten for not minding your manners. With some pride, you tell us that you are wanted in a number of states, for various charges.
The whole situation depresses and scares me. You are my brother. You are in desparate need of help, and yet you won’t seek out the help you so desperately need! Basically, you just keep telling me, “Send money, and trust me to take care of myself.” Sorry, pal, I just don’t buy that one. If you think you can take care of yourself, there is a bridge in New York City that I want to sell to you.
As an indication of your irrational state, you have made up a personality that you use to help yourself cope with your troubles. The use of a fantasy by a person to cope with reality is the first sign that they are on the way to leaving what everyone else thinks is reality, and they are about to enter into their own reality, which they find more comfortable. At that point, it is truely difficult to help the person. It appears that is the direction you may be going. I hope not.
If you said a lot of the above is negitive, you would be right. Let us be positive. You are indeed intelligent. You do have a bonafide contribution to make in a number of academic areas. Given the opportunity, you could develop an excellent reputation in your chosen field. The only problem is that your refusal to get medical and psychological help is holding you back. Worse, it could land you in jail, with no one to help you out.
Michael, you have to take a real, long hard look at yourself. Stop kidding yourself. You are now forty years old. By no stretch of the most active imagination are you a kid any more. Your refusal to face up to your shortcomings and to take positive steps to straighten out your emotional problems is slowly alienating you from your mother, your father, your sisters, your brothers, and your friends.
Consider something simple like my offer to have you come down and visit with me and Jana, my new wife that you have not yet met. We are both concerned that when you are down here you will get bored and decide to go tangle with the Newport beach Police Department. Now, I know that you would never leave the house with the specific intent to tangle with our local police department, but you would do something stupid like not leave a restaurant when you were asked or refuse to stop loitering when requested. You would be “defending your rights” or something like that, but the end result will be that I will have to go down to the jail and bail you out.
Who the hell needs that kind of aggravation? Certainly I don’t, and I have no intention of tempting you to put me through it.